Posts Tagged ‘transitions’

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The Inevitability of Change

Time and time again, it has been said – the three things we can all be certain of – death, taxes and change!

And depending on our circumstances, one of these may be more pressing than the others.

I had not been for a walk in the Western Springs Park since summer so autumn’s presence was spectacular!

From the crunch of the leaves to its gentle fall on you – the beautiful palate of variegated colours, an artist could not have painted better!

Here in the Southern Hemisphere in a few days time on the first of June winter begins.

A change bringing its own challenges – it gets dark early as there are fewer hours of sun but more rain and cold.

But also the delights as we curled up by the fire (or heater), warm, hearty meals and lots more sleep!

The in-between seasons can take a bit of adjustment and getting used to.

Whatever our favourite season, there is a hankering for that to continue – be it the endless days of summer or the freshness and vitality of spring, the cooling temperatures of autumn or the feeling of hibernation in winter.

Not unlike life – sometimes getting used to change can challenge us to the core as the familiar disappears from our experience.  The heart yearns for what was but we don’t always have a say in the matter.

And yet when we open our hearts and embrace the change, we stop resisting and flow with what is.

And in the process, like the chrysalis, we transition and emerge anew.

How to Quickly Get Back on Track When You Have De-railed

Have you de-railed in your tracks recently?

You were going along just fine and then WHAMO!

Despite all your good intentions, rigorous goal setting and solid commitment, you found yourself back to where you did not wish to be.

Unwittingly perhaps, you got caught up, enmeshed in some old behavior patterns that stopped serving you long ago.

Or perhaps there have just been shades of  disappointment,  disillusionment and burn out and you lost focus and got discouraged.

Or, presented with the same old contextual pulls (friends, environment, old temptations) before you realized, you were back doing things and being a certain way that is not the most optimum for you and others.

In the leadership journey or indeed life, this is a very common human scenario.

Whatever your situation — be it work or home, here are eight helpful actions you can take immediately to get back on track.

Your eight keys to getting back on deck:

1) Responsibility — Acknowledge that emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, a sense of failure, stuckness are all natural and common human reactions. Our feelings and emotions add to the rich texture that life is. The key is to not act out these negative emotions on others and give away your sense of power and control to change.

Notice, acknowledge and take responsibility for what has happened.

It might feel easier to blame other and circumstances but what is going to give you leverage is asking yourself this question, “What was my part in creating or contributing to this scenario?

2) Re-commit — Ask yourself, “Moving forward, what is my intention now?” And “What and who do I need to re-commit to?

Reflecting on the bigger picture or your vision will help fuel this.

3) Actions — Ask yourself, “Given the above what action do I now need to take now?” This may be a small immediate step along with some other more intermediate ones.

4) Boundaries — Often when we fall of the wagon, we have transgressed our own and sometimes others’ boundaries.

Sometimes others invade our boundaries and we let it happen and did not stop it when we could have.

Ask yourself, “What boundaries do I need to honour?”

5) Courageous communication — Check with yourself, “Is there someone I need to have a courageous conversation with?”

“What do I need to communicate to them and what is the best way of doing this?”

Or indeed – Is there a courageous conversation you need to have with yourself which might open doors otherwise shut?

6) Support — Review who your support crew is.

Share you experience and commitment plan with them or at least one trusted other. A sense of safety and support is really important for us in feeling like we have our back covered.

7) Accountability — Stay accountable to yourself and the other person/people you have committed to.

As has been said, ‘It is not how often we fall off the horse that matters but that we get back on again!’

And, “Fall off seven, get up eight!

8) Kindness and gratitude — Often in times like this, we become our own worst enemy. Be gentle with yourself with loads of self-compassion.

Being human is being fallible. It just is.

Ask yourself, “How can I show this self-compassion and self-love…still?” and “What are all the things I am still grateful for?”

What other things have you found helpful? I look forward to your thoughts.

#Career de-railment #leadership derailment #Life events #Resilience #Transitions

The Gift of New Beginnings After the Ending

sunriseFacing endings

Endings are a natural, inevitable part of life.

Whether these endings come about in our jobs and careers, love and family life or other aspects of our social, recreational and community life, there is an inevitable emotional reaction. Life as we have known is no longer and there is a consequent feeling of being in transition or as a colleague put it – “total limbo land.”

Of course, it is much easier to deal with change when we are the originators of such endings but this is not always the case. Endings and change get forced upon us and sometimes we do not even see it coming. In these instances, the shock factor and coming to terms with the new situation can take time.

Coming to terms with endings

Endings are not something we typically talk about except perhaps with those closest to us. And indeed the message from well-meaning friends and colleagues can be to “just get over it” and “move on.”  Move on –  we do –  but coming to terms with the ending and or loss is something that has its own timing and rhythm.  Depending on our individual makeup and the level of support, we do arrive at and make peace with the new circumstances but typically in our own time. (more…)

How to Unleash Your Creativity When You are Stuck in a Rut

creativity“To be successful we must live from our imaginations, not from our memories.” ~ Steven Covey

Can you relate to any of these thoughts and feelings?  You feel stuck in a rut. Trapped!  You have had enough of being where you are but just don’t seem to be able to break out of it.

You feel annoyed, frustrated and helpless and think of others who seem happier and more fulfilled in their lives.  There is an underlying fear,  “I will never get out of this, and maybe I don’t have what it takes!”   Feelings of anxiety and panic abound at not being able to see a different future. 

As some of you would know, being stuck in a rut without any sense of verve, excitement or creativity, sucks!  And it is hard to know where to start when you are in it.  But it doesn’t have to be this way.  There are things we can do to re-connect with our creative energies and catapult us out of the rut we are in.

Read more at  – http://www.aha-now.com/unleash-creativity-in-work/

As a leadership and career coach, team facilitator and speaker, I love working with individuals, teams and organisations to help them grow and progress with their goals and vision.  

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Pay Attention to those Weak Signals

weak signalWeak signals; powerful message.

A lot of the times the answers we are seeking are right there. But we don’t have the eyes to see, nor the ears to hear.

In fact, we override what our senses might be picking up and telling us because they often come in the form of weak or subtle signals.

These can be like fleeting whispers, a dis-ease, unarticulated perceptions, a gut feel that doesn’t go away and other below the surface ‘readings.’

Can you relate to any of these? What is a ‘weak signal’ for you currently which you might be ignoring?

I had a client who was feeling this strong intuitive pull towards academia. She found this odd as she was happy in her job and had no major plans to study or change her lifestyle. (more…)

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