“It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities.”  
-Josiah Charles Stamp

Being responsible for our lives is a no brainer.  If we are asked the question of whether we take responsibility for our lives, the majority of us would say, “but, of course.” Seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it?   But this can be a question worth exploring deeper.  In my earlier work as a clinician, then as a consultant and coach, I discovered that even the most successful person invariably had an area or issue that they had sidled away from taking responsibility – whether consciously or unconsciously.

Here are a couple of examples–a top executive while “hitting the numbers” and running a very reputable and successful business, gave up responsibility of “being a father”  and spending much quality time  ( or any  at all!) with his  young kids.  His rationale – his partner was super organized and while holding down her own demanding job also managed the home life including the children.  Given one of his top values was family, the irony of this hit him sharply and he consequently committed to making time with the kids before they were put to bed.  A solution that he felt was realistic and achievable especially the weeks he was home and not out of the country.
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While catching up with a friend over coffee I was recently asked, “Jas, how do you build and grow trust in a relationship?”  In answering his question, it occurred to me that this would be a good topic for a blog as well. 

Trust is the lifeblood of all relationship – business or personal.  It is the foundation of all mutually satisfying and sustainable long-term relationships. More than just a concept, it is also a feeling state – based on our experience of other’s behavior over time – which is taken as evidence of their trustworthiness or not.

“If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a relationship.”

So how do we build and grow trust?  The following seven behaviours are vital in building trust:
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Can you recall a time recently when clearly you had been “done wrong” by someone – a colleague, team member, manager, friend or even a loved one?  In some way they had “failed to deliver” what was either normal, expected, within the bounds of that relationship. Worse they had “done a dirty” either knowingly or unknowingly?  How did you feel?

And when you talked   to them about it, how did they react?  Were there excuses, explanations, denial or blame or did they acknowledge what had happened, took responsibility and proceeded to put it right?  (more…)

Whichever way one looks at it, Paul Henry’s recent comments asking the Prime Minister whether the next Governor-General is going to “look and sound like a New Zealander” are insulting and racist. It falls way below the mark in his role as a TVNZ breakfast host. 

The basic requirement of any job including those in leadership is that we deliver what is expected of that role and take full responsibility for our actions.  When managers, leaders and politicians fail to do this, their leadership including the organization’s culture and ethos are – quite rightly – questioned.

Prejudice and stereotypes invariably blind us. Never mind Sir Anand’s background, calibre and merit in having been an almost perfect fit for the job. He is “culturally different” or more to the point “not white.”  So everything else becomes irrelevant. This is a not a recipe for  building and leading a team, organization or country. (more…)

The All Whites performance at FIFA has been remarkable; a demonstration of great leadership and excellent team work. With the World Cup they have –  rather suddenly, sprouted in our sporting consciousness and totally captured the nation’s imagination. After being an insignificant seventy eight in the world rankings, who would have expected them to do as well as they did? Here’s a team that did not have the support, backing and resources such as the All Blacks and yet they made every Kiwi feel proud by remaining unbeaten and scoring the goals they did – firstly with Slovakia and then against the World Cup holders, Italy! And we could go on here…. (more…)