Posts Tagged ‘leadership’

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Are You Guilty of Neglecting the People Who Matter the Most?

Have you noticed how when you are busy, under pressure and feeling pulled from all directions, you get into a different zone of doing things.

In fact, it is not just our communication which changes but our whole persona!

I call it the zone of delivery – fast action, ticking the boxes and basically getting things done.  While this is not bad in itself as after all we do get paid to deliver, we also lose out on some other important things.

In order to do the above and focus, we close out some other essential and enriching parts of our personalities and lives.

As one client of mine put it, “ I have to close off to my feelings and other sensitivities when I am in this zone of focus.”

Well – do we?

Do we really have to close off to our feelings and emotions?

“When awareness is brought to an emotion, power is brought to your life.” – Tara Meyer Robson

You see, our feelings and emotions are a vital source of information and when we close this out, we lose out on this vital feedback loop.

In our business relationships:

·     We may miss the listening we need to really hear the other person and their viewpoint which while different may also expand our thinking to be more cognizant of the bigger picture

·     We push the other person away and they end up feeling unheard, even disrespected

·     Empathy (doesn’t mean agreement) gets compromised

·     We can come across like automatons and disconnected, insensitive and or indifferent

·     Our antenna for a team member or colleague needing support gets missed

·     We lose out in opportunities to engage others by addressing theirs and our own feelings and emotions

·     In fact, we can miss out on the important signs and signals of what is really going on in the team and the larger business

·     Opportunities to influence significant stakeholder in helpful ways can also get overlooked

Similarly also in our personal relationships:

·     We can forget to communicate what is really going on for us and sharing our thoughts and feelings in a way that is still inclusive of our loved ones even if we are going through a particularly demanding phase

·     The opportunities for little words of encouragement and kindness said at the right time in the right way and which can make a world of difference get overlooked

·     We can even bring the business persona home and forget to switch off reaching out instead to other means of de-stressing and being balanced.

·     Our loved ones can start to feel neglected and secondary to our work

·     Instead of growing our relationships, distance, disengagement and chasms can widen. We end up building a wall and get into a pattern of not sharing our vulnerabilities.

So what can help?

Here are 13 emotionally intelligent things you can be more mindful of and implement. 

Clearly this is a lot to absorb but even if you pick one and consciously implemented that on a weekly basis, you may just surprise yourself with the results!

1.    Be mindful of your own state including your body signals and other basic needs so stress and cortisol levels do not become rampant

2.    Make time for some fun and stress release activities be it that run, swim, walk in nature, taking in a movie with your loved one, Friday afternoon drinks with your team or celebratory lunch

3.    Be aware of your moods and emotions and communicate to significant others and your team members and colleagues of your current demands.  Once people know they can even become supportive partners with your goals and current needs

4.    Work on balancing achieving results whilst also considering others’ needs. At least listen to them or make time with them when you can do this

5.    Involve others and encourage them to also express their thoughts and feeling and opinions – make it a culture where emotions and feelings are not left at home but rather form the rich palate in your decision making

6.    Don’t forget to acknowledge and recognize others’ hard work and input

7.    Reflect on your feelings also when making decisions

8.    Stay open and wide (we get tunnel vision when too zeroed in) and take the bigger picture into consideration in decision making

9.    If you are under the gun, it is very likely so are the other members of your team.  As a leader, before focusing on the agenda and how projects are tracking, go around the group and each team member shares “where they are at.” This enables people to express their feelings so they are not sitting on things.

10. Be willing to share your own authentic feelings e.g. “My concern about this is that”…..or “I feel we may not be as customer focused as we can be by…..”

11. As the leader during tough times, your people will be especially looking to you as to how you are coping and reacting. Be willing to share your authentic story including any feelings of “appropriate” vulnerability. This helps build more trust in the team

12. Make a conscious effort to involve and engage people in decisions that affect their work. The rewards will be worth it as it adds to your and your organizations emotional and financial bottom-line

13. With your family and friends, remember the small touches and few words can go a long way – be it words of love, encouragement, gift/token of appreciation or tender touch!

Both in our personal and professional lives we are more whole and fuller when we bring the best of our head (IQ), heart (EQ) and spirit (SQ).

It is not one or the other – we need to integrate the best of them all.

 

(more…)

Authentic Leadership: Have you had a defining moment?

reflection

reflection

Last week, as part of our authentic leadership programme, my colleague and I invited the participants to explore their leadership stories.

These are stories that have formed and informed us and make us the leaders that we are. The exploration can be grounding, revealing and empowering.

So what about you?

Is your story something you have given much thought to?

Or perhaps, like many others, you have put your story aside, perhaps seen it as a tad mundane and bearing little significance?

Or perhaps because of a few “bad” experiences, you have been seen these as best ‘forgotten.’

Our Crucibles

Many of us have had defining moments in our lives and these have consciously or unconsciously shaped our beliefs, values and attitudes. (more…)

Leadership: Learning the Key to Your Success

business woman with ipadThere is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning.
– Jiddu Krishnamurti

My colleague and I  just completed another module of the authentic leadership programme.

Openness to learning

As facilitators, we appreciated how open the participants were to learning and developing as great leaders.

There was an openness to feedback along with an inquiring approach to the sometimes ‘grey’ areas as to what might be a better way.

Through being present and supportive of each other, they were able to benefit from added insights and ideas to further deepen their authentic leadership. (more…)

The most impactful coaching event of the year

MG and Lisa Baner300x250

ALERT:  Did you miss some of the WBECS pre-summit as per below which you wanted to attend live?

They are releasing 7 sessions in total including many of the highest rated Pre-Summit sessions from this year. 

Click here to access the session recordings over the next 7 days starting May 31! https://coach.wbecs.com/wbecs2016ps/a6572

Up level the quality of your coaching at no cost!

Enjoy, learn and grow your business as you contribute to others  – how good is that?

https://coach.wbecs.com/wbecs2016/a6572

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Hello there! I am delighted to share this wonderful free learning opportunity with you, especially if you are a coach or are interested in learning more about coaching tools, techniques and methodologies from some of the best in the world.

As coaches, the quality of our coaching provision is truly our most valuable asset and I believe that constantly educating ourselves and raising our standards is crucial for long-term success.

You might know that I have  attended WBECS – the World Business and Executive Coaching Summit – last year and I have received outstanding value from their powerful presenters.

At WBECS – which is a live online summit, featuring more than 80 of the biggest names and most impactful experts in the coaching profession –  the speakers share their most profound tools, frameworks and methodologies that you can apply in your own coaching right away.

I’ve personally gained extraordinary value from the summit!

If you’re interested in learning from the best of the best and increasing the quality of your coaching provision as a result, I highly recommend that you join their complimentary Pre-Summit held in May during which you’ll get access to more than 45 shorter power sessions at absolutely no cost!

You are free to register for as many Pre-Summit sessions as you’d like and you can simply choose the ones that are most relevant to you at this point.

The world-class presenters at WBECS will cover a wide range of topics and different areas of coaching. You will find many incredible sessions that are absolutely relevant to you and your practice.

Here are just a few examples of all the profound content you’ll be able to access when you join the complimentary Pre-Summit:

  • How Breakthrough Coaching Works – Applying the Science of Presence and Change
  • Tame the Primitive Brain. Manage The Most Impulsive Behaviors at Work
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  • Rewinding and Retelling Your Story: The Power of Pivoting in the Moment
  • Show Them Why You’re Worth It With ROI
  • Evolutionary Coaching: An Introduction to the Ego-Soul Dynamics of Personal Growth
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Click the link below to reserve your spot for the complimentary WBECS Pre-Summit:

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I promise you will gain incredible value from it!

Jasbindar Singh
Partner WBECS Summit

 

As a leadership and career coach, team facilitator and speaker, I love working with individuals, teams and organisations to help them grow and progress with their goals and vision.  

Download your free 10 Actions for your leadership development journey.

You can contact me at +64 27 280 3335 or jasbindar@jasbindarsingh.com

How to Give Great Feedback and Save Your Relationship

two biz man“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.”
– Yehuda Berg

Imagine this – you have just finished a presentation to about a hundred attendees out of town.

This particular presentation was not only your first of this kind but unbeknownst to the audience, you had had just a difficult conversation with a family member, which was not something you had planned for.

Regardless, you did the best presentation you could do and felt relieved that it was finally over.

As you are heading to the back of the room, an attendee walks up to you and says, you know what,  “That was ALL wrong!”

And then they proceed to tell me why and what you “SHOULD” have done.

This actually happened to me some fifteen years ago at an event. Needless to say I was totally gob smacked!  (more…)

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