Posts Tagged ‘career and life transitions’

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How to Quickly Get Back on Track When You Have De-railed

Have you de-railed in your tracks recently?

You were going along just fine and then WHAMO!

Despite all your good intentions, rigorous goal setting and solid commitment, you found yourself back to where you did not wish to be.

Unwittingly perhaps, you got caught up, enmeshed in some old behavior patterns that stopped serving you long ago.

Or perhaps there have just been shades of  disappointment,  disillusionment and burn out and you lost focus and got discouraged.

Or, presented with the same old contextual pulls (friends, environment, old temptations) before you realized, you were back doing things and being a certain way that is not the most optimum for you and others.

In the leadership journey or indeed life, this is a very common human scenario.

Whatever your situation — be it work or home, here are eight helpful actions you can take immediately to get back on track.

Your eight keys to getting back on deck:

1) Responsibility — Acknowledge that emotions like frustration, anger, sadness, a sense of failure, stuckness are all natural and common human reactions. Our feelings and emotions add to the rich texture that life is. The key is to not act out these negative emotions on others and give away your sense of power and control to change.

Notice, acknowledge and take responsibility for what has happened.

It might feel easier to blame other and circumstances but what is going to give you leverage is asking yourself this question, “What was my part in creating or contributing to this scenario?

2) Re-commit — Ask yourself, “Moving forward, what is my intention now?” And “What and who do I need to re-commit to?

Reflecting on the bigger picture or your vision will help fuel this.

3) Actions — Ask yourself, “Given the above what action do I now need to take now?” This may be a small immediate step along with some other more intermediate ones.

4) Boundaries — Often when we fall of the wagon, we have transgressed our own and sometimes others’ boundaries.

Sometimes others invade our boundaries and we let it happen and did not stop it when we could have.

Ask yourself, “What boundaries do I need to honour?”

5) Courageous communication — Check with yourself, “Is there someone I need to have a courageous conversation with?”

“What do I need to communicate to them and what is the best way of doing this?”

Or indeed – Is there a courageous conversation you need to have with yourself which might open doors otherwise shut?

6) Support — Review who your support crew is.

Share you experience and commitment plan with them or at least one trusted other. A sense of safety and support is really important for us in feeling like we have our back covered.

7) Accountability — Stay accountable to yourself and the other person/people you have committed to.

As has been said, ‘It is not how often we fall off the horse that matters but that we get back on again!’

And, “Fall off seven, get up eight!

8) Kindness and gratitude — Often in times like this, we become our own worst enemy. Be gentle with yourself with loads of self-compassion.

Being human is being fallible. It just is.

Ask yourself, “How can I show this self-compassion and self-love…still?” and “What are all the things I am still grateful for?”

What other things have you found helpful? I look forward to your thoughts.

#Career de-railment #leadership derailment #Life events #Resilience #Transitions

Are You Going through a Major Life Transition?

Life changes can catch us by surprise.

Are you feeling a tad restless, frustrated, anxious or down and depressed?

It is quite likely that you are going through a life transition but perhaps haven’t recognized the fullness of it.

Like it or not, our lives is a series of change and transitions.

Recognising and understanding the nature of such transitions can help reduce some of the angst and resource us to adapt faster and take positive action as we step into the changed or new future.

Here are some signs that you may be going through a major life transition:

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Change: The Joys and Challenges of Life

 

cherry pathI was heading home after a busy Friday. Seeing the traffic ahead, I decided to turn right into a street I very rarely use.

And boy, was I glad I did!

Barely had I gone down a few hundred meters, when I got welcomed by these wonderful, bright pink, cherry trees, many in full bloom.

Just last week I had written a post on the unexpected little joys of life.

The bigger two trees in the corner were full of tuis (NZ bird) ‘tuiting’ away, absolutely lost in the moment and in ecstatic delight of the honey nectar. It is as if, amongst the branches and the blooms, they were having a music and rhythm festival all of their own!

One of the neighbours, similarly enthralled, along with the cat came outside and we started chatting.

We stood there, very much in the moment, admiring the magical, colourful bounty and the blessings of nature.

cherry treeSeasons and change

Here in New Zealand, our Spring season has just begun. It really is a delight seeing all the lovely magnolias, cherry blossoms, sweet-smelling Jasmine, daffodils, early cheers amongst others, appear, after the dull winter.

It got me thinking – we welcome the change of seasons but are we as welcoming of the inevitable changes in our lives? (more…)

The Gift of New Beginnings After the Ending

sunriseFacing endings

Endings are a natural, inevitable part of life.

Whether these endings come about in our jobs and careers, love and family life or other aspects of our social, recreational and community life, there is an inevitable emotional reaction. Life as we have known is no longer and there is a consequent feeling of being in transition or as a colleague put it – “total limbo land.”

Of course, it is much easier to deal with change when we are the originators of such endings but this is not always the case. Endings and change get forced upon us and sometimes we do not even see it coming. In these instances, the shock factor and coming to terms with the new situation can take time.

Coming to terms with endings

Endings are not something we typically talk about except perhaps with those closest to us. And indeed the message from well-meaning friends and colleagues can be to “just get over it” and “move on.”  Move on –  we do –  but coming to terms with the ending and or loss is something that has its own timing and rhythm.  Depending on our individual makeup and the level of support, we do arrive at and make peace with the new circumstances but typically in our own time. (more…)

How to Navigate Life Transitions

Butterfly“In the space between chaos and shape there was another chance.” 
― Jeanette Winterson

Are you going through a time of change and upheaval? These changes can be sudden or a long time coming.

Whether these changes are in our work and career, relationship(s), family, health, finances, living circumstances or something else, we can suddenly find ourselves feeling shaken and vulnerable as feelings of shock, anger and confusion abound.

Coming to terms with our changed reality is not always easy.

What is more – old solutions just don’t seem to work any more and new ones in the horizon are not any clearer.

We can be left floundering, feeling frustrated and even wishing that things were back to the way they were. But deep down we know that things have changed, sometimes irrevocably.

If this in any way resonates for you then you are not alone.

And there is good news too. With time, things do find a new order, especially as we make adjustments and come to terms with our changed circumstances.

If you find yourself going through a life transition, here are some pointers, which may help: (more…)

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